Unspoken Words shaped our marriage’s end. Discover the hidden truths that changed everything and learn how silence can speak volumes.
It started with the silence. Our home which was once filled with lively conversations had become quiet and almost suffocating over time. We sat with each other, next to one another as if the space between us were a vast ocean.
The silence was deafening, so laden with the words not spoken that it threatened to crush him beneath its weight.
Now, when I retrospect it then the real unraveling started at that particular moment. And that too, at a family gathering of all times…A festive celebration calling for love and bonding. But instead a stark reminder of how much we had separated.
Friends of the family came and went, before my very eyes I saw Sarah sneak sideways glances at me; she would then excuse herself without alerting anyone. Like she was there, but not all the way. I knew something was off but I had no words for it.
It grew ominous — like a slowly spreading cancer in our relationship. We would not speak in days, bring aside the excuse of work, and bury it deeper into monastic silence so that maybe we wouldn’t notice what was right in our faces. The night IT all fell apart…I WILL NEVER FORGET!
We lay in bed, the only sound the ticking of the clock on our nightstand. Looking at Sarah, I tried to get over my nerves and finally blurted out the words. I have something I need to say,” my voice barely above a whisper.
Fear and resignation spread across her face as she turned to look at me. “Do it,” she said, her voice shaking.
Right then, the silent words that were holding us back for so long came to reside. Our fears, our doubts, and a realization that the love we had was gone. It was an explosive conversation where both of us found ourselves naked.
And so we spent the next few days trying to recover whatever was still left of our marriage. We had gone to seek counseling, hoping that there would be some way for us to reignite the flame that we used once upon a time. However, the unspoken words had been heard and done their damage.
Finally, we decided to separate. We did not come to this conclusion lightly — but it seemed inevitable. Our unspoken words weighed too heavily on our hearts, and we had to give ourselves a chance.
Reflecting on my marriage, I wonder if things would have been different had we found the courage to speak up as soon as it was clear that there were unmet expectations. Had we been able to face things, instead of letting them sit in the shadows?
Of course, hindsight is a merciless teacher, and we have to pick up the lessons as education moves only in one direction.
The words not said that killed my marriage will always be with me; to help forever soothe a heart broken by the betrayal of dead silence in our divorce.
But I also believe that our separation is a growing pain and a kind of tempering flame, strengthening my will in many respects. And then perhaps one day I might just find the courage to love once more, to utter healing words.
